Words are a powerful weapon... an outlet for anger
There is a story about when this was written. This story was written an hour before my old flatmates Justin and Joan started dating. They had gone out for a drive and I knew what was happening. They treated me like I was stupid. It was obvious they liked each other. It pissed me off that they excluded me and treated me like the third wheel, It was like my new Aussie friend was being stolen from me. So I guess I decided to get back at them through writing.
This story is about Joan to an extent. Joan is Jill, Justin is Jack and I am Maria. No I do not like Justin. I kind of did but not in the romantic way. In the friendship kind of way, Amy asked me that once she read the story. Read and enjoy!
Warning its not finished.
© Melissa Canadian 2006
This story is about Joan to an extent. Joan is Jill, Justin is Jack and I am Maria. No I do not like Justin. I kind of did but not in the romantic way. In the friendship kind of way, Amy asked me that once she read the story. Read and enjoy!
Warning its not finished.
If Loves the Problem Press One
Jill was a short blonde girl. The kind that make you jealous, which caused a problem for Maria because she kind of sort of liked this guy and this guy obviously liked Jill. In 2005 one would simply stifle their jealousy, but in New2005 any problem could be solved with a telephone call.
Maria was a tall brunette, kind of frumpy. Jill was loud hyper, lively the parallel opposite of Maria. This made Maria’s fury even worse. She needed a problem solver. A problem solver helped, listened to anything and everything was solved.
It was a late Saturday afternoon. Maria was slumped in the chair by the telephone. Jill lay on the couch beside her. While Jack the guy she kind of sort of liked, attempted to be nice to Maria for the sake of politeness, but his intentions were meant for Jill.
Today was the day that Maria had enough. She picked up the telephone. She dials fast and inconspicuously as to not let Jack and Jill know what she was up too. She dials 1-800-I-NEED-HELP-RIGHT-NOW. The operator comes on.
“Welcome to problem solvers network. How can we help you?”
“If you want to solve a garbage problem press33998723, if you have a miscellaneous problem to press 2798665, if you have a love problem press one , if you have a fat problem press 3000 three times..”
Obviously Maria had a love problem so she pressed 1.
Across town a pink light flashes, “beep, beep, beep”
“Oh no it’s a love problem,” said Carma a chubby girl with brown hair and eyes.
“Grr…,” said Wild Will, a beastly Rottweiler. “I hope I don’t have to eat a blonde again, you know how they upset my stomach.”
“Oh Wild Will, just threaten to eat her. She’ll get the message.
“’Nah I’ll send Ruthless Roy.”
Ruthless Roy was Wild Wills little brother. He was ten times more vicious and when he says he’ll eat you he actually will.
“Beep, beep, beep.”
“Answer the problem already,” said Carma.
“Fine,” said Wild Will. “Don’t order me or I will eat you.”
“Oh Wild Will you’re one of a kind,” said Carma she flashes a smile.
“Put me on unspeaker,” Wild Will commanded.
“Hello,” said a meek voice. “I have a problem.”
“What is it?” said Wild Will.
“I am kind of sort of having problems with my flatmate. She is getting on my nerves.
“Elaborate,” said Wild Will.
“I kind of sort of like this guy and I don’t know how to know if I like him because I am jealous.”
Carma rolls her eyes. Good grief she thought.
“Alright, I am on my way,” said Wild Will. “Page Ruthless Roy, tell him I am waiting for him at the back entrance.”
A few moments passed.
“What is it this time?” Ruthless Roy growled evilly.
“Love problem I think it calls for Lunch disposal.”
“Wonderful,” said Ruthless Roy.
Wild Will and Ruthless Roy strap on their jet packs and blast of the silver platform. The sky zips by them, flying around buildings as they wiz by. The Rottweilers arrive at an ugly bungalow. They knock on the door rudeness was necessary for a love problem.
“How rude,” said a voice.
The reason it was rude to knock on the door because people had to stop what they were doing to answer it.
The door creaks open.
“Hallo you so pretty,” said Wild Will.
“Yes so very pretty,” said Ruthless Roy.
Jill bursts into tears. In the future pretty meant ugly and ugly means pretty.
“May we please come in,” said Wild Will rudely.
“Ugh…Rotty’s are always rude,” said Jill.
“Alright lets get this over with,” said Wild Will. “Maria like Jack, but Jack likes Jill.”
“Jill also gets on Maria’s nerves,” Ruthless Roy.”
“Umm OK,” said Jill.
Maria was a tall brunette, kind of frumpy. Jill was loud hyper, lively the parallel opposite of Maria. This made Maria’s fury even worse. She needed a problem solver. A problem solver helped, listened to anything and everything was solved.
It was a late Saturday afternoon. Maria was slumped in the chair by the telephone. Jill lay on the couch beside her. While Jack the guy she kind of sort of liked, attempted to be nice to Maria for the sake of politeness, but his intentions were meant for Jill.
Today was the day that Maria had enough. She picked up the telephone. She dials fast and inconspicuously as to not let Jack and Jill know what she was up too. She dials 1-800-I-NEED-HELP-RIGHT-NOW. The operator comes on.
“Welcome to problem solvers network. How can we help you?”
“If you want to solve a garbage problem press33998723, if you have a miscellaneous problem to press 2798665, if you have a love problem press one , if you have a fat problem press 3000 three times..”
Obviously Maria had a love problem so she pressed 1.
Across town a pink light flashes, “beep, beep, beep”
“Oh no it’s a love problem,” said Carma a chubby girl with brown hair and eyes.
“Grr…,” said Wild Will, a beastly Rottweiler. “I hope I don’t have to eat a blonde again, you know how they upset my stomach.”
“Oh Wild Will, just threaten to eat her. She’ll get the message.
“’Nah I’ll send Ruthless Roy.”
Ruthless Roy was Wild Wills little brother. He was ten times more vicious and when he says he’ll eat you he actually will.
“Beep, beep, beep.”
“Answer the problem already,” said Carma.
“Fine,” said Wild Will. “Don’t order me or I will eat you.”
“Oh Wild Will you’re one of a kind,” said Carma she flashes a smile.
“Put me on unspeaker,” Wild Will commanded.
“Hello,” said a meek voice. “I have a problem.”
“What is it?” said Wild Will.
“I am kind of sort of having problems with my flatmate. She is getting on my nerves.
“Elaborate,” said Wild Will.
“I kind of sort of like this guy and I don’t know how to know if I like him because I am jealous.”
Carma rolls her eyes. Good grief she thought.
“Alright, I am on my way,” said Wild Will. “Page Ruthless Roy, tell him I am waiting for him at the back entrance.”
A few moments passed.
“What is it this time?” Ruthless Roy growled evilly.
“Love problem I think it calls for Lunch disposal.”
“Wonderful,” said Ruthless Roy.
Wild Will and Ruthless Roy strap on their jet packs and blast of the silver platform. The sky zips by them, flying around buildings as they wiz by. The Rottweilers arrive at an ugly bungalow. They knock on the door rudeness was necessary for a love problem.
“How rude,” said a voice.
The reason it was rude to knock on the door because people had to stop what they were doing to answer it.
The door creaks open.
“Hallo you so pretty,” said Wild Will.
“Yes so very pretty,” said Ruthless Roy.
Jill bursts into tears. In the future pretty meant ugly and ugly means pretty.
“May we please come in,” said Wild Will rudely.
“Ugh…Rotty’s are always rude,” said Jill.
“Alright lets get this over with,” said Wild Will. “Maria like Jack, but Jack likes Jill.”
“Jill also gets on Maria’s nerves,” Ruthless Roy.”
“Umm OK,” said Jill.
© Melissa Canadian 2006
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